Introvert?

Those of you that know me know that I am an introvert. I think that introvertedness is a gift from God that carries with it its own blessings and unique abilities as well as its own vulnerabilities to our adversary’s attacks. I have been thinking about my personality and struggles a bit and thought that I would write some of it down. I believe that both introvert and extrovert personalities are blessings from God and without both this body called the Church would never be able to function properly. However I think that what we call introvertedness and extrovertedness has come to mean something different from what God originally intended. We view introverts as people that are quiet, soft spoken, and generally don’t like to be around people, they usually aren’t blessed with outstanding social skills and are seemingly unfit for any kind of ministry besides writing and study, which I will admit I am quite fond of. We view extroverts as people that have an extreme desire to be with people and usually blessed with any number of social skills. They are people that would die if they had to go off for a long period of study or meditation by them selves they just could not be alone. I think that these views have formed as a result of thousands of years of enemy attack on the very people that bear these unique God given personalities, us! I am here sharing my thoughts on introvertedness but will on occasion put some thoughts forward on extrovertedness, though I am not one and can’t really speak to the deep heart of an extrovert, but I do imagine that many of the thoughts and struggles are the same just reversed.

The problem with our view of introvertedness is that we do not see it as a gift from God that gives us a unique ability to work with other people. But that is altogether untrue. While introverts are usually good at retreating into a room or out into the wilderness and spending much time in study and writing they are also good, or at least often have the desire to be, at working with people. God never intended for those of us that have introverted personalities to live our lives alone, to not enjoy interacting with others. He created all of us, introverts and extroverts alike, to be in relationship with Him and with each other. “It was not good for man to be alone.” This verse does not only speak of the desire to be in a husband/wife relationship, it speaks of our desire, our reflection of the Trinity, to be in relationship. Introverts have the ability to listen to others hearts, to listen in a way that is pure listening, we don’t sit and think of responses while the other is talking we just listen. This is not to say that extroverts can’t do this or that all introverts can do this naturally, it just comes easier to many introverts. Introverts have the unique ability to spend time alone, quietly, with out our hearts crying out for companionship other than God. We can think and study and write and gain many valuable insights that must be shared with the body. Introvertedness at its heart is simply the ability to remain still and quiet and listen; it is a quiet and reflective personality it is not a complete inability to be in relation with others. It carries its own unique abilities into those relationships; it does not flee from them. There are many more unique qualities that an introvert can bring to the body, and if you are an introvert perhaps you should take the time to think of those that you have to give and if you are an extrovert you should take the time to think of the introverts in your life and what they bring to your relationship that is special and unique to their type of personality.

So what makes an introvert shy so much from bringing their gifts and abilities into the body? They certainly are there and must be shared, but there is something that keeps introverts from doing so. I believe as I mentioned above that it is deeply connected to years of enemy attack. The devil is one of the few beings that has seen what we were created to be. He saw Adam and Eve in their sinless God reflecting state and he hated it. The devil wanted to be God, and that God would place the very image that the devil so badly wanted into such seemingly weak and unglorious creatures infuriated him. The devil went on the attack, he attacked God first and when he was cast out of heaven he attacked these creatures that God so deeply loved. That attack still goes on today and it has shaped us more than we know. It doesn’t take long to think of ways that we have been attacked; wounds that the devil’s well placed arrows have left in our hearts. The worst part is that once one of his fiery darts hits home he will continue to hit us there until we break and crumble and become something that we were never intended to be. Think of the words that you hear whispered into your mind. Those deadly lies that the devil constantly speaks to us in a voice that grows ever louder the more the arrows hit home. It is this attack and these lies that have done so much to take us from the glorious image bearers that God intended us to be to the broken creatures that we are now.

I have found that these lies are what keep my self and other introverts from sharing what we so badly long to bring to the body. That quiet reflective nature allows the devil to take the smallest of wounds received from another person and begin to whisper lies into our minds and hearts. Introverts begin to feel like they have nothing to bring or that if they try they will be misunderstood and made fun of. The devil has had thousands of years to perfect his aim and his lies can sound very loud in our ears. I can imagine that his lies in the ears of an extrovert may sound like worries of not being heard, lies that people aren’t listening and don’t care, lies that make an extrovert go crazy trying to make someone listen. I don’t know but it seems to me like that may be the case. I do know that there have been many times where I have felt as though God wanted me to say something but the lie in my head, that no one wanted to hear what I was saying or that they wouldn’t get it if I did say what was on my mind, kept me from revealing what was on my heart. Now I realize this wound and have many people around me that have helped me to begin to learn to open up and share my heart. I struggle and stumble sometimes but I know that God is with me and there is always an encouraging ear that I can turn to when I am feeling the heat of the devil’s attack.

I was thinking about that this morning, thinking about those voices. The voice of the devil so loud and so demeaning, just like the Casting Crown’s song, “reminding me of all the times I’ve tried before and failed.” But then I thought of the other voices so quiet and yet so genuine that they can, if I am listening, quickly drown out the lies. I was reminded of Hebrews 12 where is says that we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses. That verse directly follows my favorite chapter in the Bible, Hebrews 11, the hall of faith. Those people listed there and many others both on this earth and in heaven are there cheering us on. Cheering introverts and extroverts alike to become what God made us to be; to embrace our personalities and search them to find out how God designed them to work within the body of Christ, the church. We are called to dig down through the years of attacks and lies and find who we truly are. The blessing is to know that not only are there so many cheering us on but God is right there digging with us searching out the wounds and binding them up. That is where I am at right now and hopefully will be for the rest of my life. God is leading me down through my heart showing me wounds, digging them up, (this is some times a hard and teary thing to do) and then binding that part of my hart back together. It is like an art restorer digging through the pieces of a broken and beautiful piece of pottery and lovingly putting them back together. Loving restoration, becoming the creatures that God created us to be. Introverts and extroverts alike, made whole and being set free to live vibrantly in God kingdom.

Scenario:
Listen to people long enough and the lies that the devil whispers to both introverts and extroverts will become apparent. Have you ever seen a conversation where one person or more goes on and on trying to get everything in their mind out speaking faster and more rapidly with an ever growing fear that they are not being heard or are being misunderstood? They explain themselves over and over again hardly leaving room for others to speak because of some deep fear, some whispered lie that spurs them on. Then in the same conversation you may see a person that says nothing at all, they seem like they have something on their mind but they are scared to say it and then become frustrated with them self for being afraid to say it and frustrated with the “talker” because it seems as though even if they did have the courage to speak their heart they couldn’t do so any way. The lie whispered to them is don’t speak they don’t care or will just misunderstand and use the things you say against you. The lie reminds them of times past when things they have spoken have been ripped apart.

I mention this scenario not to condemn but to bring to light the fact that we all are being continually attacked. Introverts and extroverts are being fired upon by the enemy all the time. I can see it in my life and I can feel the woundedness in my heart, perhaps you can to. Praise God that there is healing, and we need to constantly lift each other up before our healing God, allowing His mercy and grace to bind our hearts back together, making us who we originally were intended to be.